
So, I deleted the previous entry, the one that had some personal information about me and about what I'm up to at school. I was feeling brave when I posted, decided to connect this account, where I've remained fairly anonymous (my real name is in no way connected to what I call myself here, Mag) to more of my real life. That was a mistake.
Nothing's happened, not much. Someone found this account. Someone from school, that's worked with me on projects and knows a lot of my friends from school, and I freaked. I called him up, fortunately he hadn't really looked at my gallery, had just seen some connections to me and had read the journal with the personal info that connected me to the projects we'd worked on and some other things, and had put 2 and 2 together. But he hadn't seen anything of what this account contains. Fortunately, he's someone I know doesn't care about stirring up drama, and I know when I asked him not to look at the account or mention it to anyone, I know he won't. And if he were to lie and look at the account, I think I can at least trust him not to speak of it. Yeah, there's a lot of faith that has to go into a relationship that had previously only been one of acquaintances, which is why it's so nervewraking.
Anyways. Yeah. So there's a lot that I don't talk about, because I don't want a lot of people finding out about this account. It would mean sad times for my family (even though they know I'm the way I am, but they wouldn't understand the need to draw and express myself this way) and it could potentially mean that I could get kicked out of school. That's what pisses me off, though. I don't do very many highly controversial images in terms of the poses or content. If it were a boy and a girl, everything would be peachy, but since they're both girls, then it can get me into trouble.
I don't know what I'm trying to do or say with this journal. I'm just frightened and nervous and anxious and I just want to take it all back and not have been that reckless to post something that someone from my real life could find. And hopefully, if he did look at my account, then maybe he's read this journal and can understand more of what it would mean for me for him to keep quiet. Maybe that's why I'm writing this post.
So there you have it. More reasons to stay anonymous, even though I really felt like I wanted to let a lot of the people that I've met on here closer into my life. It's just too scary.
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The Kigo100
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